I am so excited about the next few days. Tomorrow night I'm having a New Years party with some fun friends! Molly will be coming from Charleston to celebrate, which I'm excited about :)
Then, on Saturday, I am going to Passion in Atlanta with Denise and some people from my old church. I am SO excited to be able to listen to some of the most well-spoken speakers/preachers around now. I'm hoping to learn a lot and to start the New Year off by growing closer to Christ. John Piper, Francis Chan, Andy Stanley, Louie Giglio... and Christy Nockels singing! woohoo :) I'm also excited to take the trip with Denise! We live in the same town, but I don't get to catch up with her enough!
And then... one more week of work, and THEN a WEEK OFF before I start my new job! During that week, I am going to Raleigh to visit my friend Stacey (one of my Charleston buddies). I have not been able to visit her yet in the last year and a half, and I don't think I've seen her in 6 months!
Then, begins the new job. Crazy. I have a feeling I'll be pretty busy getting my feet wet in my new role, so I'm going to relax and have fun these next couple of weeks :)
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
A New Year
As is typical of me, I was so against making any New Years resolutions this year - because 'that's the popular thing to do.' (I have issues and we will just leave that alone.)
Anyway, something changed over the last few weeks and I've been thinking about resolutions. I think I first started thinking about how great this past year has been. I truly am SOOO thankful for what God has done in my life this past year. The previous two years were the hardest years of my life, but I find it hard to complain about them now because my faith in Christ grew stronger than I ever knew it would. I also would not be right where I am today if all of that had not been a part of my life. But still, those years were so difficult and I wanted out of them so badly. At the beginning of this year, I was still coming out of a fog, so it didn't start out that great... but as the year kept going on, my life started getting brighter and brighter. I have made so many friends over this past year that mean so much! I know God placed us all in each others' lives to encourage and entertain :) each other. I have had so much fun with these new friends as well as my 'old' friends. I've just started to really realize how blessed my life is.
So anyway - what I am about to say is so frustrating to admit... but, as God has been making these changes in my life, I have sadly started to forget about how close God has been to me and how much He has done for me. I have not thanked Him or shown Him love like I wish I would have. I have become lazy in spending time with Him. All of these incredible insights and lessons I've had over the last year or so I have slowly been forgetting. For example, I read Crazy Love by Francis Chan earlier this year, and I was so amazed at the things that God brought to my attention. I wanted so badly to live simply (and coincidentally, this wasn't hard to do because I was making so very little money in my job at the time...) and I was again considering missions. I had such a passion for living genuinely for God and in intentionally moving closer to Him and further away from this world.
Now, I still completely agree with moving closer to Him and apart from the world, but it seems like that passion I had has lost some of it's spark. I don't know what caused the change - except to guess that it is because I have become so busy doing these fun things and filling my time with friends and events that I have neglected to spend time with God. I also have come to a better spot financially and I guess I have not felt the need to 'ask' God for help. This is terrible. I don't want to just come to Him for things like this. I mean, He can definitely help, but He didn't live and die just to cure my financial woes... ugh. Not at all.
So, needless to say, I am a little disappointed in myself and my devotion to Christ. I don't feel like I've 'fallen away' or whatever... I just think I've started to pay less attention to Him because my life is easier, to be honest. The sad thing is - HE IS THE ONE who made it this way for me! I should be thanking Him every time I take a breath.
So anyway - back to resolutions. It seems weird to make that a resolution... so really, I just hope that in 2010, I grow closer to Christ and that I intentionally seek Him. Not to just seek Him FOR something, but to simply SEEK HIM. I DO want to know so much more about Him and His Word. I want to feel Him. I want to KNOW Him. I want to love more. I want to understand more, and really to just be closer to Him. As part of this desire, I guess I would 'resolve' to stop over-committing myself and to slow my life down a little. To make sure I am not putting anything ahead of Him. This is not just a 'New Years' resolution, this is an everyday, all-the-time kind of resolution.
OK - now as far as an actual New Years Resolution... I am going to give up all drinks other than water, with a couple of exceptions. This may sound ridiculous, but I will allow myself to have an 'adult beverage' every now and then ;) for celebration purposes of course! And, I can have coffee every now and then. Really, the only time I drink coffee now is if I need some caffeine to drive to work in Columbia in the mornings... but pretty soon I will only be driving 5 minutes to work (YAY!!!) so I won't need that caffeine! Starbucks drinks are also OK rarely, when friends want to go out and get coffee. So... maybe I'm terrible at making resolutions because I just gave myself like 5 exceptions. Whatever. The main goal is just to stop drinking a lot of stuff like sodas and other drinks that are just full of crap with zero nutritional value.
Another vague resolution I have is to LIVE SIMPLY. This is going to be a gradual process. I have already begun thinking like this over the past couple of years, but it comes and goes sometimes. I think living in Charleston started my 'live simply' mode, but Crazy Love helped to spur on my desire! Basically, I will pay much more attention to the 'stuff' I have. I try to get rid of extra stuff that I don't really need or want on a semi-regular basis. I'd really like to just have what I need instead of accumulating a bunch of stuff I end up not wanting. It really is such a waste. I'd like to get on track budget-wise and spend my money in a way that pleases God and helps others, instead of accumulating 'treasures' for myself that will rust and fade away. I will think more about what I actually 'need' versus what I just 'want' or the fact that I just want to spend money... (yikes).
I can't think of any more resolutions. This is probably plenty to work with ;)
However - 2010 IS bringing me a BRAND NEW JOB! I will have LOTS going on in that arena of life. I'm excited about starting the Child Life program at Doctor's Burn Unit, but I really have no idea what it is going to be like. I'm preparing myself to be challenged and to face some difficult situations... BUT, I also think it is going to be really great and interesting. Even though it is still Child Life, it's definitely and new realm for me, in that it is mostly in a burn unit, AND that I will be starting a program from scratch - which means I get to look around and say, "Ooh, let's do THIS!" Should be fun ;)
Who knows what else this coming year will bring. If it is anything like 2009, then I am looking forward to it :)
Anyway, something changed over the last few weeks and I've been thinking about resolutions. I think I first started thinking about how great this past year has been. I truly am SOOO thankful for what God has done in my life this past year. The previous two years were the hardest years of my life, but I find it hard to complain about them now because my faith in Christ grew stronger than I ever knew it would. I also would not be right where I am today if all of that had not been a part of my life. But still, those years were so difficult and I wanted out of them so badly. At the beginning of this year, I was still coming out of a fog, so it didn't start out that great... but as the year kept going on, my life started getting brighter and brighter. I have made so many friends over this past year that mean so much! I know God placed us all in each others' lives to encourage and entertain :) each other. I have had so much fun with these new friends as well as my 'old' friends. I've just started to really realize how blessed my life is.
So anyway - what I am about to say is so frustrating to admit... but, as God has been making these changes in my life, I have sadly started to forget about how close God has been to me and how much He has done for me. I have not thanked Him or shown Him love like I wish I would have. I have become lazy in spending time with Him. All of these incredible insights and lessons I've had over the last year or so I have slowly been forgetting. For example, I read Crazy Love by Francis Chan earlier this year, and I was so amazed at the things that God brought to my attention. I wanted so badly to live simply (and coincidentally, this wasn't hard to do because I was making so very little money in my job at the time...) and I was again considering missions. I had such a passion for living genuinely for God and in intentionally moving closer to Him and further away from this world.
Now, I still completely agree with moving closer to Him and apart from the world, but it seems like that passion I had has lost some of it's spark. I don't know what caused the change - except to guess that it is because I have become so busy doing these fun things and filling my time with friends and events that I have neglected to spend time with God. I also have come to a better spot financially and I guess I have not felt the need to 'ask' God for help. This is terrible. I don't want to just come to Him for things like this. I mean, He can definitely help, but He didn't live and die just to cure my financial woes... ugh. Not at all.
So, needless to say, I am a little disappointed in myself and my devotion to Christ. I don't feel like I've 'fallen away' or whatever... I just think I've started to pay less attention to Him because my life is easier, to be honest. The sad thing is - HE IS THE ONE who made it this way for me! I should be thanking Him every time I take a breath.
So anyway - back to resolutions. It seems weird to make that a resolution... so really, I just hope that in 2010, I grow closer to Christ and that I intentionally seek Him. Not to just seek Him FOR something, but to simply SEEK HIM. I DO want to know so much more about Him and His Word. I want to feel Him. I want to KNOW Him. I want to love more. I want to understand more, and really to just be closer to Him. As part of this desire, I guess I would 'resolve' to stop over-committing myself and to slow my life down a little. To make sure I am not putting anything ahead of Him. This is not just a 'New Years' resolution, this is an everyday, all-the-time kind of resolution.
OK - now as far as an actual New Years Resolution... I am going to give up all drinks other than water, with a couple of exceptions. This may sound ridiculous, but I will allow myself to have an 'adult beverage' every now and then ;) for celebration purposes of course! And, I can have coffee every now and then. Really, the only time I drink coffee now is if I need some caffeine to drive to work in Columbia in the mornings... but pretty soon I will only be driving 5 minutes to work (YAY!!!) so I won't need that caffeine! Starbucks drinks are also OK rarely, when friends want to go out and get coffee. So... maybe I'm terrible at making resolutions because I just gave myself like 5 exceptions. Whatever. The main goal is just to stop drinking a lot of stuff like sodas and other drinks that are just full of crap with zero nutritional value.
Another vague resolution I have is to LIVE SIMPLY. This is going to be a gradual process. I have already begun thinking like this over the past couple of years, but it comes and goes sometimes. I think living in Charleston started my 'live simply' mode, but Crazy Love helped to spur on my desire! Basically, I will pay much more attention to the 'stuff' I have. I try to get rid of extra stuff that I don't really need or want on a semi-regular basis. I'd really like to just have what I need instead of accumulating a bunch of stuff I end up not wanting. It really is such a waste. I'd like to get on track budget-wise and spend my money in a way that pleases God and helps others, instead of accumulating 'treasures' for myself that will rust and fade away. I will think more about what I actually 'need' versus what I just 'want' or the fact that I just want to spend money... (yikes).
I can't think of any more resolutions. This is probably plenty to work with ;)
However - 2010 IS bringing me a BRAND NEW JOB! I will have LOTS going on in that arena of life. I'm excited about starting the Child Life program at Doctor's Burn Unit, but I really have no idea what it is going to be like. I'm preparing myself to be challenged and to face some difficult situations... BUT, I also think it is going to be really great and interesting. Even though it is still Child Life, it's definitely and new realm for me, in that it is mostly in a burn unit, AND that I will be starting a program from scratch - which means I get to look around and say, "Ooh, let's do THIS!" Should be fun ;)
Who knows what else this coming year will bring. If it is anything like 2009, then I am looking forward to it :)
Saturday, November 7, 2009
No Other Way
I can say it now
I always hoped I could somehow
But I had my doubts
In the moment, couldn’t figure it out
But now, I see, it’s right
What was dark is now so bright
My vision was so dim
Thought I’d lost what I’d never have again
And now, I am whole
Having reached this cherished goal
‘Thank You’ was hardly on my mind
With so many concerns that only bind
But, somehow along the way
You’ve allowed my mouth to say that
I am grateful that I failed
I am glad that I’ve known pain
It might seem strange to say
But I’d have it no other way
This path that’s led me here
I once wanted to disappear
But now, I see the beauty that You know
This life full of love, laughter, growth,
A heart of thanks, new joy and friends
For all Your ways, may my praise never end.
I always hoped I could somehow
But I had my doubts
In the moment, couldn’t figure it out
But now, I see, it’s right
What was dark is now so bright
My vision was so dim
Thought I’d lost what I’d never have again
And now, I am whole
Having reached this cherished goal
‘Thank You’ was hardly on my mind
With so many concerns that only bind
But, somehow along the way
You’ve allowed my mouth to say that
I am grateful that I failed
I am glad that I’ve known pain
It might seem strange to say
But I’d have it no other way
This path that’s led me here
I once wanted to disappear
But now, I see the beauty that You know
This life full of love, laughter, growth,
A heart of thanks, new joy and friends
For all Your ways, may my praise never end.
Right Now
Right Now
Right now, I will be glad.
Right now, I will enjoy the moment.
Right now, I am where I am meant to be.
Right now, I am grateful for where I have been.
Right now, I can look forward to what is to come.
Right now, I will not miss what is here, right now.
I imagine the future. I imagine things I would like to have.
But, right now, have I missed out on something?
No, because right now is right where I was created to be.
I won’t let ‘right now’ slip away as I dream of ‘until then.’
Right now, I am grateful for all that I am blessed to possess.
I will use these blessing to return the favor.
I will seek and I will find.
I will serve and I will love.
Stagnant is a word I will never know personally.
I am a river, whose current is constantly shifting, but whose contents remain living water. Right now is where I am and where I want to be. Right now is where my joy lies.
Right now, I will be glad.
Right now, I will enjoy the moment.
Right now, I am where I am meant to be.
Right now, I am grateful for where I have been.
Right now, I can look forward to what is to come.
Right now, I will not miss what is here, right now.
I imagine the future. I imagine things I would like to have.
But, right now, have I missed out on something?
No, because right now is right where I was created to be.
I won’t let ‘right now’ slip away as I dream of ‘until then.’
Right now, I am grateful for all that I am blessed to possess.
I will use these blessing to return the favor.
I will seek and I will find.
I will serve and I will love.
Stagnant is a word I will never know personally.
I am a river, whose current is constantly shifting, but whose contents remain living water. Right now is where I am and where I want to be. Right now is where my joy lies.
Strength Itself
I am so weak.
But it is when I am weak that I am strong.
It is not myself. It is You.
You are not only my strength, You are strength itself.
You are love. You are hope, truth.
You are not just an example of these things. You are all of these.
How do I fathom all You are? Where do I begin?
How is it that I believe You are all of these?
You are infinite, You are everything.
I need You. I need Your love. I need Your strength, Your truth,
Your goodness, Your grace, Your mercy, Your hope,
Your protection, Your salvation.
You supply these needs, but You are even more than this. You are all.
I need more. All the time.
I could have more, and I would need more.
And then, more.
One day, I will have all of You.
There will be no more ‘not enough.’
There will be no more questions, no more fear, no more doubt.
I will know. I will believe. I will see.
I will feel. I will be with You.
My life will be made complete in You.
Yet, this is not about me.
So rather, One day, You will be fully glorified.
Your holiness alone will exist.
The holiness You have always been will then be known fully.
My mind fails to comprehend. So I want to know more.
I need Your word. I need Your truth. I need You.
But it is when I am weak that I am strong.
It is not myself. It is You.
You are not only my strength, You are strength itself.
You are love. You are hope, truth.
You are not just an example of these things. You are all of these.
How do I fathom all You are? Where do I begin?
How is it that I believe You are all of these?
You are infinite, You are everything.
I need You. I need Your love. I need Your strength, Your truth,
Your goodness, Your grace, Your mercy, Your hope,
Your protection, Your salvation.
You supply these needs, but You are even more than this. You are all.
I need more. All the time.
I could have more, and I would need more.
And then, more.
One day, I will have all of You.
There will be no more ‘not enough.’
There will be no more questions, no more fear, no more doubt.
I will know. I will believe. I will see.
I will feel. I will be with You.
My life will be made complete in You.
Yet, this is not about me.
So rather, One day, You will be fully glorified.
Your holiness alone will exist.
The holiness You have always been will then be known fully.
My mind fails to comprehend. So I want to know more.
I need Your word. I need Your truth. I need You.
To You, My Friends
I wish you well
I wish you peace
I wish your cares would be released
To the One who loves you most
The One who loves to keep you close
I hope your walls will be destroyed
For you, I wish not only joy
But happiness to fill your days
Even more than wishing, I will pray
I pray for comfort and for love
For a life that fits you like a glove
I pray He guides your every step
And when He does, that you accept
Good things He has in store for you
I imagine great things you will do
I hope that He surprises you
With a life you'd never dream to choose
Glory belongs to God above
Unending, unfailing, unfathomable love
I pray that you truly believe
This love He wants you to receive
I wish you peace
I wish your cares would be released
To the One who loves you most
The One who loves to keep you close
I hope your walls will be destroyed
For you, I wish not only joy
But happiness to fill your days
Even more than wishing, I will pray
I pray for comfort and for love
For a life that fits you like a glove
I pray He guides your every step
And when He does, that you accept
Good things He has in store for you
I imagine great things you will do
I hope that He surprises you
With a life you'd never dream to choose
Glory belongs to God above
Unending, unfailing, unfathomable love
I pray that you truly believe
This love He wants you to receive
Still
Never before did I know what it meant to have my heart exposed.
Envelop, protect it; but let it blossom.
Bitterness is easy to find, I know this to be true.
Sweeten, refine, purify my heart.
Soften it to absorb everything, and still, remain buoyant.
To be grateful for good hardly requires effort.
To find gratitude amid wringing of the heart is where love and faith mature.
Without difficulty and desperation, how would any great measure of His faithfulness be known?
Still, it challenges me.
Heartaches change - new anxieties replace former doubts resolved.
Perfection has not found me.
Endurance, however, is mine; and He will provide and prove faithful over again.
Joy IS to be found.
Even happiness for the moment.
For every time I lay my head, and every time I wake, He is still with me!
Envelop, protect it; but let it blossom.
Bitterness is easy to find, I know this to be true.
Sweeten, refine, purify my heart.
Soften it to absorb everything, and still, remain buoyant.
To be grateful for good hardly requires effort.
To find gratitude amid wringing of the heart is where love and faith mature.
Without difficulty and desperation, how would any great measure of His faithfulness be known?
Still, it challenges me.
Heartaches change - new anxieties replace former doubts resolved.
Perfection has not found me.
Endurance, however, is mine; and He will provide and prove faithful over again.
Joy IS to be found.
Even happiness for the moment.
For every time I lay my head, and every time I wake, He is still with me!
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