I can say it now
I always hoped I could somehow
But I had my doubts
In the moment, couldn’t figure it out
But now, I see, it’s right
What was dark is now so bright
My vision was so dim
Thought I’d lost what I’d never have again
And now, I am whole
Having reached this cherished goal
‘Thank You’ was hardly on my mind
With so many concerns that only bind
But, somehow along the way
You’ve allowed my mouth to say that
I am grateful that I failed
I am glad that I’ve known pain
It might seem strange to say
But I’d have it no other way
This path that’s led me here
I once wanted to disappear
But now, I see the beauty that You know
This life full of love, laughter, growth,
A heart of thanks, new joy and friends
For all Your ways, may my praise never end.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Right Now
Right Now
Right now, I will be glad.
Right now, I will enjoy the moment.
Right now, I am where I am meant to be.
Right now, I am grateful for where I have been.
Right now, I can look forward to what is to come.
Right now, I will not miss what is here, right now.
I imagine the future. I imagine things I would like to have.
But, right now, have I missed out on something?
No, because right now is right where I was created to be.
I won’t let ‘right now’ slip away as I dream of ‘until then.’
Right now, I am grateful for all that I am blessed to possess.
I will use these blessing to return the favor.
I will seek and I will find.
I will serve and I will love.
Stagnant is a word I will never know personally.
I am a river, whose current is constantly shifting, but whose contents remain living water. Right now is where I am and where I want to be. Right now is where my joy lies.
Right now, I will be glad.
Right now, I will enjoy the moment.
Right now, I am where I am meant to be.
Right now, I am grateful for where I have been.
Right now, I can look forward to what is to come.
Right now, I will not miss what is here, right now.
I imagine the future. I imagine things I would like to have.
But, right now, have I missed out on something?
No, because right now is right where I was created to be.
I won’t let ‘right now’ slip away as I dream of ‘until then.’
Right now, I am grateful for all that I am blessed to possess.
I will use these blessing to return the favor.
I will seek and I will find.
I will serve and I will love.
Stagnant is a word I will never know personally.
I am a river, whose current is constantly shifting, but whose contents remain living water. Right now is where I am and where I want to be. Right now is where my joy lies.
Strength Itself
I am so weak.
But it is when I am weak that I am strong.
It is not myself. It is You.
You are not only my strength, You are strength itself.
You are love. You are hope, truth.
You are not just an example of these things. You are all of these.
How do I fathom all You are? Where do I begin?
How is it that I believe You are all of these?
You are infinite, You are everything.
I need You. I need Your love. I need Your strength, Your truth,
Your goodness, Your grace, Your mercy, Your hope,
Your protection, Your salvation.
You supply these needs, but You are even more than this. You are all.
I need more. All the time.
I could have more, and I would need more.
And then, more.
One day, I will have all of You.
There will be no more ‘not enough.’
There will be no more questions, no more fear, no more doubt.
I will know. I will believe. I will see.
I will feel. I will be with You.
My life will be made complete in You.
Yet, this is not about me.
So rather, One day, You will be fully glorified.
Your holiness alone will exist.
The holiness You have always been will then be known fully.
My mind fails to comprehend. So I want to know more.
I need Your word. I need Your truth. I need You.
But it is when I am weak that I am strong.
It is not myself. It is You.
You are not only my strength, You are strength itself.
You are love. You are hope, truth.
You are not just an example of these things. You are all of these.
How do I fathom all You are? Where do I begin?
How is it that I believe You are all of these?
You are infinite, You are everything.
I need You. I need Your love. I need Your strength, Your truth,
Your goodness, Your grace, Your mercy, Your hope,
Your protection, Your salvation.
You supply these needs, but You are even more than this. You are all.
I need more. All the time.
I could have more, and I would need more.
And then, more.
One day, I will have all of You.
There will be no more ‘not enough.’
There will be no more questions, no more fear, no more doubt.
I will know. I will believe. I will see.
I will feel. I will be with You.
My life will be made complete in You.
Yet, this is not about me.
So rather, One day, You will be fully glorified.
Your holiness alone will exist.
The holiness You have always been will then be known fully.
My mind fails to comprehend. So I want to know more.
I need Your word. I need Your truth. I need You.
To You, My Friends
I wish you well
I wish you peace
I wish your cares would be released
To the One who loves you most
The One who loves to keep you close
I hope your walls will be destroyed
For you, I wish not only joy
But happiness to fill your days
Even more than wishing, I will pray
I pray for comfort and for love
For a life that fits you like a glove
I pray He guides your every step
And when He does, that you accept
Good things He has in store for you
I imagine great things you will do
I hope that He surprises you
With a life you'd never dream to choose
Glory belongs to God above
Unending, unfailing, unfathomable love
I pray that you truly believe
This love He wants you to receive
I wish you peace
I wish your cares would be released
To the One who loves you most
The One who loves to keep you close
I hope your walls will be destroyed
For you, I wish not only joy
But happiness to fill your days
Even more than wishing, I will pray
I pray for comfort and for love
For a life that fits you like a glove
I pray He guides your every step
And when He does, that you accept
Good things He has in store for you
I imagine great things you will do
I hope that He surprises you
With a life you'd never dream to choose
Glory belongs to God above
Unending, unfailing, unfathomable love
I pray that you truly believe
This love He wants you to receive
Still
Never before did I know what it meant to have my heart exposed.
Envelop, protect it; but let it blossom.
Bitterness is easy to find, I know this to be true.
Sweeten, refine, purify my heart.
Soften it to absorb everything, and still, remain buoyant.
To be grateful for good hardly requires effort.
To find gratitude amid wringing of the heart is where love and faith mature.
Without difficulty and desperation, how would any great measure of His faithfulness be known?
Still, it challenges me.
Heartaches change - new anxieties replace former doubts resolved.
Perfection has not found me.
Endurance, however, is mine; and He will provide and prove faithful over again.
Joy IS to be found.
Even happiness for the moment.
For every time I lay my head, and every time I wake, He is still with me!
Envelop, protect it; but let it blossom.
Bitterness is easy to find, I know this to be true.
Sweeten, refine, purify my heart.
Soften it to absorb everything, and still, remain buoyant.
To be grateful for good hardly requires effort.
To find gratitude amid wringing of the heart is where love and faith mature.
Without difficulty and desperation, how would any great measure of His faithfulness be known?
Still, it challenges me.
Heartaches change - new anxieties replace former doubts resolved.
Perfection has not found me.
Endurance, however, is mine; and He will provide and prove faithful over again.
Joy IS to be found.
Even happiness for the moment.
For every time I lay my head, and every time I wake, He is still with me!
You
You are my strength.
You give me hope. You ARE my hope.
You LET me come to You. You listen to me.
You teach me.
You are patient with me. You are kind.
You never fail me.
You love me. You show me how to love.
You GIVE.
You GIVE.
You understand.
You know… it ALL.
You GIVE.
You ARE grace.
You give grace.
You forgive me.
You are holy, set apart from any other.
You are unending. You never grow old.
You have always been here. You will forever be here.
You are strong.
I do not know what You look like. I wonder. I imagine. I imagine that my vision is nowhere near the truth of Your existence. I know what I know now. I do not even know everything I know now. I will know later.
My knowledge is pieced out. Scattered images of a God I have not seen with my eyes. Yet I love Him and talk to Him and trust Him with my life. I do not always believe, but I believe He will help me to believe.
I can ask Him absolutely anything. I believe He already knows even the darkest, most embarrassing, tattered parts of my mind, heart, soul. He already knows, but I still will tell Him. A friend to tell my most inward secrets. A friend to share my every thought with. Every thought I hide even from myself at times. A friend, Who no matter what comes out of me, He still loves me, with the same love He loved me with before. Unfailing love, not dependent on right and wrong, good and bad, hard and easy. Love that is always in existence. With nothing I can do to change it.
You give me hope. You ARE my hope.
You LET me come to You. You listen to me.
You teach me.
You are patient with me. You are kind.
You never fail me.
You love me. You show me how to love.
You GIVE.
You GIVE.
You understand.
You know… it ALL.
You GIVE.
You ARE grace.
You give grace.
You forgive me.
You are holy, set apart from any other.
You are unending. You never grow old.
You have always been here. You will forever be here.
You are strong.
I do not know what You look like. I wonder. I imagine. I imagine that my vision is nowhere near the truth of Your existence. I know what I know now. I do not even know everything I know now. I will know later.
My knowledge is pieced out. Scattered images of a God I have not seen with my eyes. Yet I love Him and talk to Him and trust Him with my life. I do not always believe, but I believe He will help me to believe.
I can ask Him absolutely anything. I believe He already knows even the darkest, most embarrassing, tattered parts of my mind, heart, soul. He already knows, but I still will tell Him. A friend to tell my most inward secrets. A friend to share my every thought with. Every thought I hide even from myself at times. A friend, Who no matter what comes out of me, He still loves me, with the same love He loved me with before. Unfailing love, not dependent on right and wrong, good and bad, hard and easy. Love that is always in existence. With nothing I can do to change it.
"All These Things"
God, You are good.
Your mercy DOES endure, Your grace IS enough. Just as I sing, You are all these things.
When I stop singing, You are still all these things.
When I forget to sing, You are still all these things.
When my mouth sings, but my heart is detached, You are still all these things.
I am fickle, I am weak. I love with condition. I crave what I do not have. I crave more of what I already have.
But,
I am not lost. I am never without hope. I am forgiven. I am glad.
Your grace covers all these weaknesses. You are my completion. You are everything it turns out I am seeking.
No matter the clenches I am in, just Your presence around and IN me fill me with a hope that I could not have placed there myself.
A hope that allows no bitterness. A hope that fights back what my nature wants to cling to so tightly. A hope that ALWAYS comes through. A hope that endures the challenges to bring about growth. Not just surviving, but growing.
A hope that stays through the hard and the good, not making hard times disappear, but bringing endurance and perseverance through it all, giving me a greater good.
I am so very human. You expect this of me. In fact, you created me this way. So why would I expect perfection of myself, or knock myself down for not reaching it? You do not shame me for my faults, why should I feel like I need to?
Not that I stand for status quo. I do strive to follow Your way. To live in Your light. To live apart from this world, but embracing the beloved souls in it.
You know where I will fall short. It is not a shock to You. This is why so long ago, You gave Your own life to save me.
My heart is far behind, but You are carrying it with You.
When I doubt, when I believe, when I desire, when I cry, when I hesitate, when I hurry, when I fall, when You lift me up, when I sleep, when I dream, when I wane, when I grow, when I know, when I don’t – You are still ALL these things.
Your mercy DOES endure, Your grace IS enough. Just as I sing, You are all these things.
When I stop singing, You are still all these things.
When I forget to sing, You are still all these things.
When my mouth sings, but my heart is detached, You are still all these things.
I am fickle, I am weak. I love with condition. I crave what I do not have. I crave more of what I already have.
But,
I am not lost. I am never without hope. I am forgiven. I am glad.
Your grace covers all these weaknesses. You are my completion. You are everything it turns out I am seeking.
No matter the clenches I am in, just Your presence around and IN me fill me with a hope that I could not have placed there myself.
A hope that allows no bitterness. A hope that fights back what my nature wants to cling to so tightly. A hope that ALWAYS comes through. A hope that endures the challenges to bring about growth. Not just surviving, but growing.
A hope that stays through the hard and the good, not making hard times disappear, but bringing endurance and perseverance through it all, giving me a greater good.
I am so very human. You expect this of me. In fact, you created me this way. So why would I expect perfection of myself, or knock myself down for not reaching it? You do not shame me for my faults, why should I feel like I need to?
Not that I stand for status quo. I do strive to follow Your way. To live in Your light. To live apart from this world, but embracing the beloved souls in it.
You know where I will fall short. It is not a shock to You. This is why so long ago, You gave Your own life to save me.
My heart is far behind, but You are carrying it with You.
When I doubt, when I believe, when I desire, when I cry, when I hesitate, when I hurry, when I fall, when You lift me up, when I sleep, when I dream, when I wane, when I grow, when I know, when I don’t – You are still ALL these things.
More
"More"
Ripening.
I see, feel, detect it in the course of my thoughts.
It comes not out of ease, but of ordeal; yet, at times it is agreeable to me.
What a revolution of the heart; but still, there is more.
When do I go from endlessly requesting of You to simply seeking You?
When will Your eminence be desired, rather than my desire to be satisfied?
When will I offer the consistency You deserve?
This I long for, but have not achieved.
You ARE sculpting me. I now know your presence more than before.
But still, there is more.
Haven’t I come so far, yet only begun?
At the same time recognizing more of Your love and less of my understanding.
I cannot grasp the measure of Your time. Your work is steady and endless.
I cannot comprehend the magnitude of Your thorough, abiding care.
Forgive me when my belief falls short of everything You are.
Weakness swells as my interest fades, but Your attention never fails.
.Oh, for You to receive Your worth of gratitude!
Grant Your strength, to create in me an endless longing for more.
With a continuous flood of sincere thanks for who You are.
Ripening.
I see, feel, detect it in the course of my thoughts.
It comes not out of ease, but of ordeal; yet, at times it is agreeable to me.
What a revolution of the heart; but still, there is more.
When do I go from endlessly requesting of You to simply seeking You?
When will Your eminence be desired, rather than my desire to be satisfied?
When will I offer the consistency You deserve?
This I long for, but have not achieved.
You ARE sculpting me. I now know your presence more than before.
But still, there is more.
Haven’t I come so far, yet only begun?
At the same time recognizing more of Your love and less of my understanding.
I cannot grasp the measure of Your time. Your work is steady and endless.
I cannot comprehend the magnitude of Your thorough, abiding care.
Forgive me when my belief falls short of everything You are.
Weakness swells as my interest fades, but Your attention never fails.
.Oh, for You to receive Your worth of gratitude!
Grant Your strength, to create in me an endless longing for more.
With a continuous flood of sincere thanks for who You are.
End of Winter
Winter is coming to an end
I feel the ice melting on my skin
My limbs and chest once tense for so long
From Winter’s chill, trying to stay warm.
Muscles now relaxed, my head moves side to side.
Eyelashes release falling icicles.
Green eyes open slowly, their weight, once so intense, has vanished.
I can see clearly ahead.
Once, my hands were clenched so tightly
Afraid to let go, as if I might break.
I release them, slowly, they are comfortable now.
My chest is weightless, its burden cannot be found.
My lungs expand and experience fresh air, as if for the first time.
They fill to capacity, no more incomplete, empty gasps.
They exhale a fresh breath of gratefulness and hope.
Anything is possible with this new freedom of movement,
Thanks to this change of season in my soul
That awakens my body from hibernation
And warms its layers in preparation for progress.
I feel the ice melting on my skin
My limbs and chest once tense for so long
From Winter’s chill, trying to stay warm.
Muscles now relaxed, my head moves side to side.
Eyelashes release falling icicles.
Green eyes open slowly, their weight, once so intense, has vanished.
I can see clearly ahead.
Once, my hands were clenched so tightly
Afraid to let go, as if I might break.
I release them, slowly, they are comfortable now.
My chest is weightless, its burden cannot be found.
My lungs expand and experience fresh air, as if for the first time.
They fill to capacity, no more incomplete, empty gasps.
They exhale a fresh breath of gratefulness and hope.
Anything is possible with this new freedom of movement,
Thanks to this change of season in my soul
That awakens my body from hibernation
And warms its layers in preparation for progress.
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